i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
