he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
