did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
