Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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