what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize