either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
