Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
