I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
