Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
