the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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