So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
