Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
