I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
