Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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