i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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