i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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