ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
