Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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