just come out here and I will go home with you...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just want to make out with him forever
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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