i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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