y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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