What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
