i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
