I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
