there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
