somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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