I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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