I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
