Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize