I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
