CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
