Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I look better un-naked...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
