my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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