is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
