If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
