i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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