Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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