We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
