i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
