he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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