whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
