You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
