just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
