Sacagawea was the original milf.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
