I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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