I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
