this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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