Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize