omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
