dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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