if you like me you must not know who I am
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
