Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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