I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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