We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
