booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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