Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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