I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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