She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
