Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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