You don't have asthma, your pregnant
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
