those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
