He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
