can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
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It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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