Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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